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“In my work doing marriage coaching, I have noticed that very often the turning point in a marriage is when a couple hits rock bottom,” says marriage coach Mort Fertel. The truth is that you won’t find the answers you’re searching for in a blog post about marriage.“It’s not until they’ve been through the worst that things start to get better.” So, one way to know if your marriage is over is to ask if you’re at rock bottom yet. The only place you’ll find the truth is within you, your husband, and your decision together as a couple to either commit to saving your marriage or ending it (hopefully, without waging a war that involves the whole family).“My mom stayed married to my dad for 36 years even though she kept asking me if their marriage was over.It was a terrible relationship and I kept telling her to leave, but she wouldn’t. I do know that if you’re seeing signs you should give up hope, then you shouldn’t keep hanging on to a dead marriage.” Your first job is to figure out why you’re wondering if your marriage is over. What circumstances, decisions, behaviors, words and events led you here?It depends on you, your husband, and your decision as a couple to pursue a healthy marriage or let it die a sad death. If your husband doesn’t understand (or care) how his actions, words or decisions are affecting you, then maybe your marriage isn’t as solid as it could be.If he has no interest in working with you to compromise or build a better relationship then your marriage won’t be easy to save. If he doesn’t bother to respond – or if he says yes – then you have your answer.If you hit rock bottom years ago and both of you have no idea how or desire to get up off the floor and rebuild your life, then it seems to me that yes…your marriage is over. “Ironically, communication in marriage sometimes give people clarity that they don’t care what their spouse thinks or feels,” says marriage coach Mort Fertel.“They understand how their partner feels and thinks, but it just doesn’t matter anymore.” Couples get tired of the fighting, of the emotional battles, of the constant bringing up of the past and going over the same tired territory over and over.



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